Lindy Kerby's blog

My Musical

2010-02-06T21:27:00.002-07:00

Well this week I finished my musical.

I write that, with a sigh of relief, but at the same time, much gratitude and humility.

For those that are interested, I'll tell you about it.

About 4 months ago, I was bored. I like being involved in lots of things, and to find myself without a project was terrible. I had just been given the assignment to do the "Pursuit of Excellence" program for my ward. I was excited about that, but I didn't know where to go with it. My only thoughts so far, was that I should set a goal in each of the three areas that we would be setting goals in: Faith, Family, and Relief. I had set a goal for Faith and Family, but I didn't know what I would do yet for Relief.

In my boredom that day, I decided to call my mother, just to talk. "I'm bored" I told her. She was surprised. She reminded me of a project that she had asked and was hoping I would do for her ward. I rolled my eyes. A musical? About Visiting Teaching? I thought of every cheesy skit I'd ever seen performed in various Relief Society wards I'd been in. I didn't want to do it.

It was then, I thought of my goal in relief. This was something I could do for my mom, and for the sisters in her ward. I told her I'd think about it.

I tried to visualize how it could be done, picturing the Relief Society room, and the area I had to work with. No matter what, all I could think of was cheesy. I knew that if I tried to make too much happen in a short amount of time, it would just seem to unrealistic. Time needed to pass. I needed more room to work in.

I called my mom again. What kind of area are you thinking of having this performed in? I asked her. She told me the stage. She wanted costumes, sets, the works. That changed things. She was serious. Was I?

I started to think about how else I could do a real musical- on a stage. I'd never done that before, except for back in Young Women's when I wrote a script (for my mom) called "Snow White and the Seven Values". My mom had loved it. She has always been my biggest fan, but sometimes I don't know if I can trust her judgement in my abilities.

I started having impressions and ideas. Lots of them. I started to write them down, and started to get a little excited about the idea. I talked to my mom. She was so happy. She knew I was getting inspired. After talking to her on the phone, I started writing, more ideas came, and then I stopped.

Previous to this, I had my experience writing a camp song. You might remember my post about it... Is it possible you're NOT supposed to write a song? I had tried and tried to write that song, but everything seemed bent against it happening. Ultimately, I learned where my inspiration comes from, and that sometimes it's NOT for me to write.

I remembered this experience, and was hesitant to start another project if it might turn out like the last. I got down on my knees and prayed to know if writing a musical was something He wanted me to do. It was. I had no doubts, and I had the wonderful feeling that Heavenly Father would help me to write it.

I've been surprised, how many songs I'd already written about Visiting Teaching, but I didn't use any of them. I did however, have many songs that I had written previously (and not put on the site) that just didn't quite fit anywhere. I didn't know what I would ever do with them. I was amazed when they fit into my musical. I could see how the Lord had been preparing me to write this. Giving me songs and experiences I could use when this time came. I even had experiences that happened to me while I was writing it that gave me some more depth and understanding for the characters that I was writing for.

I won't say that everyone's going to love it. Some people will probably say it's cheesy. It doesn't matter anymore. I am so happy with it. I can't deny the spirit I had helping me to write it. Every time I even had a few moments to sit and write, the time was productive.

I'm not sure yet how I'm going to share it with everyone, but I want to. I will. I want to wait until I see it performed. I might make some changes as we go along. The first read-through was last week, so it's already starting to come to life.

Anyway, thanks for letting me share...

Be Strong and of Good Courage

2010-02-03T22:16:00.003-07:00

Last year, the Young Women's president in our ward asked if I would write a song for the New Theme this year. At the time, I was working hard on my musical, and I had no idea how I was going to make that happen.

At a choir practice a couple weeks later, a good friend of mine leaned over and whispered that she had some ideas for the Young Women song. She said she just kept getting these ideas and melodies floating around in her head. I said, "That's great! I'll help YOU write it!" She kind of looked at me like I was crazy, but last Sunday our Young Women sang through the song which I told the girls was completely written by my friend, Teri Garritson.

I helped her to get her melody on paper, and she continued to work on the lyrics. Once we got the melody down, I played in a basic accompaniment and she said, "I could do that!". She made an amazing accompaniment, and it turned out beautifully. I think it even means more to the girls because it came from the Spirit. She has never written a song before, but truly, it is beautiful. I'm glad that she is allowing others to download it. I'm sure others will enjoy it as well. You can download the song here.

Looking for a Van

2010-01-28T22:18:00.003-07:00

I remember when I was growing up, my parents wanted to buy a bigger van. I was the oldest of 9 or 10 at the time, and my parents seriously considered buying a bus! I was so relieved when they came home with a 15 passenger van, instead of the bright yellow school bus they told me they were considering.

I always wondered if they were serious. Well tonight, my husband and I were looking online for used vans, and a couple school busses cropped up. So funny! I don't think we're that desperate yet. Right now I can fit all my seven kids in our minivan with me, but if my husband wants to come along (which he does occasionally), then we have to take two cars! So, while we're looking at our options, I have to consider if I ever might want to pick up my children's friends, or if we wanted to go on vacation and we need some extra cargo space. If the price was right, I could actually see the benefits of the school bus. At the same time, I can't believe we are actually considering getting a 15 passenger van!

I Stand All Amazed

2010-01-24T21:28:00.002-07:00

This week I started looking for choir Easter music that we could sing. I pulled out my version of "I Stand All Amazed". I really like it. Is that bad to say? I'm excited to do that one again.

I've also been busy trying to finish up my musical. Rehearsals might be starting this next Saturday! I appreciate deadlines, but I've been spending every extra minute I have working on it. I'll be glad when it's done.

I don't think I would have been able to write a musical this fast, except that inspiration has been strong, and I've had some neat experiences writing it. One of the things that has happened, is that many of the songs that I had written previously, even 5 or 6 years ago, fit perfectly into this musical.

I started hearing some of the songs again in my head. I started getting excited as I realized that these were the perfect songs to fit my characters. I became amazed that songs I had written several years ago, that I couldn't foresee any purpose for, were linked to this project I would do several years in the future. Heavenly Father knew that I would need His help, and having half of my songs already completed has been a tremendous blessing in helping me not to be totally overwhelmed.

I can tell this is a project that I was foreordained to complete, and I Stand All Amazed.

Glue on my piano!

2010-01-20T21:11:00.002-07:00

I thought I'd take a little nap this afternoon with my little baby before all the kids got home from school. I woke up to my oldest daughter, who had just come home from school saying, "Mom you might want to see this! There's GLUE all over your piano bench!"

The offender (my 5 year old) was luckily sleeping, so I decided to take some pictures. Yep, that's my piano, with "Dad" and "Mom" written all over the bench with glue!

Peace

2010-01-17T21:27:00.003-07:00

Today our choir sang a song for our Ward Conference called "Peace". It was a beautiful arrangement of "Be Still My Soul" and "Where can I turn for peace". I downloaded it from www.soundsmithmusic.com. I added the link to my "links" page. I was impressed with their website and the quality of the music.

I thought that the choir sounded wonderful, but afterwards I saw our accompanist looking sad and a little teary. She apologized for how bad she'd done. I was shocked. I hadn't noticed any wrong notes or problems with her accompanying. She told me that the music was a little too difficult for her to play, and that she had changed some of the notes to make it easier. She was upset that she couldn't play it "as written".

I gave her a hug. I told her, as a composer, that I would feel terrible if someone felt bad about changing some of my notes to make it easier to play. I wouldn't be offend. (Of course editing the music and redistributing it would NOT be okay...) Anyway, I wanted to get that out in the open...

My baby turned 1 year old yesterday. He is starting to walk all over the place now. He's a cutie...

Pursuit of Excellence

2010-01-13T17:09:00.003-07:00

Life has been busy! In addition to my calling as Ward Choir director, I've also been given the assignment to run a "Pursuit of Excellence" program for our ward's Relief Society. It's a program encouraging the sisters to set goals and complete them during the year. Last night we had our first meeting to introduce the program and help motivate everyone.

Usually I'm the kind of person that asks what I can do to help and I'm happy to assist in any way I can. It was quite a new experience having people ask ME what they could do to help. I was so grateful for those that helped with the preparations.

It went well. I spoke for about half an hour, and told them about some of the goals I'd set in preparing for this assignment. I told them about my musical. It's one of the reasons why I am writing it.

After the meeting, I mentioned if anyone was feeling overwhelmed or not motivated, that they could take a test to see what DOES motivate them. I got it from a book I highly recommend called, "Get Motivated!" by Tamara Lowe. The test can also be taken online at www.getmotivatedbook.com. (Click on “Take the Motivational DNA test”)

Anyway it was interesting to me that about 6 or 7 women stayed afterwards to take the test, and that every single one of them ended up with the same motivational type! (A CSI) I was able to read the little snippet about CSI's - Connectors/Stabilizers/Internals, and it really seemed to help calm their fears and have a better insight into how they could accomplish their goals specific to them. I was glad I had the resource.

So that's what's been going on this week. Hope everyone is well. I'd love to hear about your goals for this year!

How I turned into a computer programmer

2010-01-08T09:31:00.004-07:00

I love goals, they have helped me to learn many new skills and accomplish tasks I may have never tried before. Usually I set a goal because of a deadline (music that has to be completed by a certain day), but usually it's because of a skill I needed to learn in order to accomplish some task.

The following is long, and will probably bore most of you, so don't feel guilty not reading, but it may be of interest to some.

I learned website design because I wanted to create a website for my music. I didn't have any knowledge in computer programming, but my husband let me borrow some basic html books so I could create a simple website. It was fun to create a website for each of the songs that I wrote, but I frequently wanted to change the look of it, and it was a real pain to change it for every song that I had on the site. I learned that if I used a language called PHP, I could create a single song page that could pull the information from a database, and that if I wanted to change the look of the site, I could just change the header at the beginning of the page. It was worth it. I learned PHP, mysql (for the database), and CSS (styling sheets).

Several years later, I was trying to plan my food storage. I don't like buying large amounts of wheat and powdered milk without knowing how I'm going to use them. I thought if I could just write down some recipes that I would actually use for the month, and then calculate each of those ingredients by 12 (months) I could figure out EXACTLY how much I would need for my year supply of food, and I wouldn't mind buying the needed amounts of those ingredients. I sat down and tried to calculate some of them out on paper. It wasn't long before I realized that it was going to take me forever to calculate an ingredient like salt, and also, if I wanted to change any of my recipes it would mess up my whole list!

I then started thinking, Someone should just make a program that does this all for you! Immediately I thought of all my programming skills that I had learned. I realized I had the tools to do some of that already. Over the next 3 years, I worked on it. I used PHP, mysql, html, and css to write it. I actually got it to work (mostly). It wasn't anything I could share really, or market, but I let a few family members try it. It wasn't very intuitive. I knew a lot of things would work better if you could drag and drop, also, if it didn't take so long to load the pages.

I started experimenting a little with a language called Flash and Actionscript. It did a lot of what I wanted, but it was still Internet based. I wanted to create some kind of Windows program, that didn't have to be connected to the Internet. This required learning a new language, Visual Basic. I started playing with the free Express Editions of Visual Basic that Microsoft offers. It was fun. I enjoyed programming. Then I had a miracle happen. My oldest daughter was out of school and could babysit, and I was able to take a Visual Basic class at the Community College. Not only did I learn quickly how to program in Visual Basic, but I also learned good practices for designing, implementing, and working in groups.

When my husband lost his job last year. I realized that I had enough skills to possibly be able to support my family. Of course we probably would have to move, and I wouldn't be able to be a stay at home mom, but having the skills necessary is extremely comforting to me. Thankfully, I haven't had to do this. I like the freedom to create on my own time.

I have almost finished my recipe program. It's been hard since I had my baby to spend the time to complete it. Right now I'm learning how to create programs that work on my iPod. I think if I could make my program work on my iPod as well, that would make it even better. Of course there are programs that probably already do all that, but they are skills that I've learned no one can take away.

So anyway, you learned something new about me that you may not have known before. I'm also a computer programmer.

The Last Decade

2010-01-05T09:01:00.002-07:00

As I look forward to a new decade, for a moment I thought I would look back and reminisce about the last 10 years.

Ten years ago (in the year 2000):
I had 3 children and I was expecting my 4th.
We were living in Provo Utah, finishing up our basement. (I thought that house would always be big enough for all of us!)
I was serving as the Ward Music Chairmen, I was also the organist and Choir director, as well as playing for a Stake Choir.
My husband was the Elder's Quorum president.
My sister came to stay with us soon after our 4th child was born. (I loved having her there with us!)
My best friend lived in the house next door, and we regularly traded off babysitting and doing preschool together
My oldest son was just starting Primary, and got his tonsils taken out that year.
I was teaching piano lessons to several of my neighbors children.
I had just finished writing a bunch of piano songs and decided to start a website.

It's been a long time ago, and life has changed quite a bit for me. Some of the surprises I had in the next 10 years...
I had 3 more children (totaling 7!)
We moved to a larger 7 bedroom home in Springville and then moved again just three years later, to a smaller home (more manageable) in South Jordan.
My best friend moved to Florida. =(
I have written over 200 songs.
I have 2 CD's that I produced and helped record. (2005 and 2008)
I had the opportunity to sing at BYU's Women's Conference in 2008
I am again serving as Choir Director, YW music leader, and this year I have the opportunity to serve on the Relief Society committee, helping with a new Pursuit of Excellence program
My husband is serving as the Scout Master's Assistant and helps with Deacon's quorum.
I am also working on my first full scale musical.

Through the years, I've also had some interesting challenges that have helped change my priorities and look towards my Savior more completely. As I've had more opportunities to serve, the happier and more fulfilled I am. I look forward to what this next decade will bring!

A New Year's Resolution

2009-12-30T21:40:00.003-07:00

Okay, so I just went looking for some "free LDS choir sheet music" (I googled it) and saw that my link was listed 4th. It was a link to my links page- for some other resource. I clicked on the link to my website. It's probably the first time I've even looked at my website in a really long time. I couldn't believe that the last update I wrote was in May! Wow. I'm surprised. I have been writing songs, but I haven't posted them. Not because I don't want to share them, but because they have been for either special occasions or purposes that I'm not ready to unveil to the world yet.

I like writing in a blog, but I've waited to write when I have something that I think might be interesting or inspirational to share. Sometimes it's a bummer that I can't just share the little things about how my day went, or the funny thing that one of my kids did that day.

So, I'm making a New Year's resolution to blog more. I'd like to blog at least once a week, but maybe even more. Not everything I write will be inspirational. I hope that's okay. You'll all see that I'm quite human. In fact, I'll probably let a lot of people down. =)

Still, every once and a while, miracles do happen in our home. This week, I've been trying to figure out how to do jobs for the next year. I have been using a system (bonus points and negatives) that has worked really well, but my kids always try to get away with the least amount of work. Well, as part of my new system, I assigned two of my children to each of our 3 bathrooms in the house. Because they weren't going to be switching which bathroom they cleaned, as we did before, my kids asked if they could decorate them up (tastefully) and make them their own. I didn't see a problem with that, so I said they could, and immediately chaos unleashed! I have never seen a bunch of harder working kids EVER cleaning bathrooms! It's something I don't think I've ever seen before. I didn't even ASK them to clean! (I was going to wait until the next year to begin.) It has been amazing. I hope their motivation to keep their bathroom clean lasts. I'm not betting on it, but I'm definitely enjoying it today...

A great Family Home Evening Idea

2009-11-23T22:03:00.003-07:00

I've been overwhelmed the last few days. The contention level in my home has been high. I've been trying to help our children to show love instead of fighting so much, but I realized this week that maybe it's because they don't recognize the love that is shown. All at once I had children begging for extra attention, a friend's child who told me my house wasn't clean, and the final straw, when my husband mentioned a small thing that would help him to feel more loved. I didn't mean to bite his head off, but I did, creating an even bigger feeling of failure, as a wife and as a mother.

I prayed to know how I could help each of the members of my family to feel loved, without being overwhelmed at the same time. I knew I also needed to be able to have some free time to take care of myself and stay happy.

I was quite surprised on Sunday, to walk into a Relief Society meeting (the hour of church when women get to share a lesson together) to my exact question, "How are some different ways we can show love to our family?" I listened as many women shared ways that they showed love. We talked about love languages, and how it's sometimes hard to share love in our spouses love language. I know about that. Our love languages are completely different. One sister said that she just asked her husband what he valued most, and those were the things she did.

I was grateful for my husband's suggestion that he had given me earlier. I knew I could do his simple request, but I worried what would happen if I let each of my children tell me what I should do for them. It was too overwhelming! I worried they would want me to make their lunch (something I really dislike doing), or give them long backscratches, or spend large amounts of time with each of them. Some things would just be too difficult to do. This afternoon, I had the thought that maybe I could give them a list of some of the things that I do to show my love for them, and they could let me know which ones help them to feel loved the most.

I started writing things I try to do each week. Clean the house, do the laundry, dishes. I thought about how I get kids ready for school, fix meals, help them with homework. I thought about the dirty diapers, taking kids to the doctor, and helping them learn about keeping their rooms clean. I realized even when I put my kids in a time out, it's because I'm trying to show them love. My list went on and on and on. I found great pleasure and satisfaction in all the things I do!

I wrote about attending choir concerts, and making sure kids have snacks when they come home from school. Helping my husband organize the garage and doing gardening. Times I spend giving hugs, and listening to them when things are going wrong. I'm definitely not perfect at any of these things, but they are things I try to do when I can. It felt good to list them off.

Tonight for our Family Home Evening (special time we spend as a family each week) I read the list of ways I show my love. I had my children take note of their 3 favorite things that I do for them. Then afterwards, I had each of them write twenty things that they each do for each other to show love. It was hard for some of them to think of things, but it was fun for me to help them remember how much they do!

Tonight, alone, I read each of their papers. I prepared myself to try and not be overwhelmed by their requests. I didn't need to worry. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I felt their love. It was like reading 7 of the sweetest letters I had ever received.

I know what I can do for them now. They are all mostly things I was already trying to do. Now I have a better incentive, and I feel their love and appreciation for those things as well. I have the best family in the world, and I'm so grateful for them!

There is so much to be grateful for! I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

"Wicked"

2009-11-07T21:37:00.002-07:00

This week I got to see the musical "Wicked" for the first time! It was so amazing. The musical had actually come to Salt Lake earlier this year, but it was during the time when my husband lost his job, and we couldn't afford to go.

Since I'm writing a musical right now, I just really wanted to see it, so I looked online and thought I'd see where it was playing. It was playing in Denver Colorado. My sister happens to live there, and I hadn't ever seen her place before. I was amazed when I decided to see how much tickets cost. It ended up being cheaper to fly to Denver and watch it there, than it was to have watched it in Utah. We decided to make it a special get away, and my husband and I both went, leaving our 7 children, in the hands of my very capable mother-in-law.

I loved it. I already had all the music memorized. I studied it, sung it, listened to it and played it before I ever saw it. I remember when I was first introduced to it. My sister-in-law invited me to come over to a friends house and just sing. We took turns playing the piano and picking songs. I was so blown away by the music. I went and bought the CD, that very week. My kids and I like to listen to the music when we're cleaning house. They all sing, and it's very fun.

It was fun to come home and retell the story to my kids. There's quite a bit that you can't guess from just listening to the music. I feel bad that if my kids are ever able to see it, I've ruined it for them, but it was so fun!

A couple of things I learned that I want to incorporate in my own musical-- Amazing orchestrations. I'm not sure how I'll accomplish that one yet, but hopefully someday.
I also need to simplify, there's a lot that a smart audience can just figure out on their own. I don't have to spell everything out, plus it makes it shorter!

Two things that really helped me were the fact that I don't have to underscore the entire musical. "Wicked" didn't, and it worked fine. Also, if your musical is character driven, the sets aren't such a big deal. I did love the sets to "Wicked", but they didn't compare to like "Phantom of the Opera". When I went away from that one, that was all I could think about. That and the music.

So anyway, just some thoughts I thought I'd share. You're welcome to share your opinions...

Wise Men Still Seek Him

2009-11-07T21:05:00.002-07:00

Well I've decided to sing "Wise Men Still Seek Him" as one of our Christmas songs for choir this year. I've actually never heard it performed before. It will be fun to hear it sung by our ward choir.

This week someone emailed me wondering what I meant by the words to this song, especially the chorus of the second verse. I thought I'd answer her on my blog, in case any one else was curious.

Of course I didn't make up the title, but I remember when I first heard it, the words, "Wise Men Still Seek Him", really hit me as true! As I wrote the song, of course the first verse I meant in the context of the Nativity. It's quite literal that wise men were seeking to find the baby Jesus. I imagine they gave Him their gifts with tears in their eyes and rejoiced to find Him.

I feel very blessed to have found Him in this life. I also know that it's not just finding Him that makes the difference in my life, but it's continuing to seek after Him every day. I need to read about Him and learn about Him, and then follow His example. The more I seek after Him, the more I find myself rejoicing, even to the point when tears fill my eyes, recognizing all He has done for me. This is what I was thinking as I wrote the second chorus.

My third verse reads, Someday we will see Him- (literally!), our King and Messiah, with gifts from our hearts we will sing. With tears we'll rejoice as our hearts fill with love, for Jesus, our Savior and King!

What a blessing to know who He is! I hope I recognize Him when He comes again!

(You can download the sheet music for this song here.)

My New Calling

2009-10-26T12:36:00.004-06:00

On Sunday I was given my new calling as our Ward's Choir Director. Since I've been married, I have served as the choir director in every ward except my current one. The last 3 or 4 years have been a nice break, but I was really missing it, and it feels great to step into those shoes again.

We usually hold Choir practices after church, and being sustained the same day I was given the calling, I didn't have much time to prepare. I frantically went to my website to see what I could do with virtually no notice. I realized that with the stipulation of a "No Hymns" emphasis, I didn't have much to go on. I decided to pull out one of my arrangements that I did for Thanksgiving about 10 years ago. It's 3 hymns put together. I used to have it on my site as "Thanksgiving Medley", but someone told me I couldn't put it on, since it had a copyrighted hymn on it. Still, I was glad I could use it! =)

I asked the previous Choir Director if there was a Stake Music library, and a laugh came back saying that the word "library" was a bit of a stretch. They said it's more like a file cabinet.

I now understand what it's like to need music and not have many options. I hope I will have some time to add some new Christmas arrangements.

My Next Big Project

2009-10-08T09:32:00.005-06:00

Last month when the kids were all just starting school, I had a ton of time on my hands. I like to be busy and have a lot of projects to do. For once, I had nothing. I had this feeling in the back of my mind, that it probably wouldn't last, and that I should probably enjoy the peace. I'm glad I did. I even experienced boredom, for just a couple of hours one afternoon!

I am now head deep into another project. A musical. It's a HUGE project! I had no idea of the scope of it, until I talked to Sally Johnson. I found her searching for some information for a fellow musician and composer, Merril Jenson. Instead I found Sally. She has recently finished a musical that she wrote for her ward. It followed after the challenge that President Hinckley gave, to read the Book of Mormon in a year. Following that year, Sally wanted to do something that would help people understand how great the Book of Mormon is, and how it applies personally to our lives. It was a huge project for her, though she did get some help from some wonderful musicians that live near her. Following their first performance, someone from the ward, told her that she would pay to have the music orchestrated. Merril Jenson did the score. The music is wonderful. Her website is at: ReceiveTheseThings.com. I read the script, and I was very impressed. She has made it available for anyone who would like to perform it for their own ward or stakes.

Sally told me she was willing to read the ideas for the musical I've been working on. So far it's just ideas and a simple sketch of characters and plot. She gave me some really good feedback. I've changed almost all of my characters since then. I think the characters are really important in creating a good plot. It makes the story line keep changing. It's an interesting challenge.

I get to go see "Wicked" next month. I'm so excited. I have the music from the CD memorized. I love it. I would love to write music that is so inspiring. My expectations for myself are way too high. Still, I like the challenge. I probably won't be blogging more often. I'm still busy, but that's the way I like it! =)

Learning to roll....

2009-09-05T13:21:00.003-06:00

Now that all my kids are in school again, I'm hoping to blog a little more often. Having all 7 kids home with me for the summer was actually a lot of fun, but it did keep me quite busy. I'm still busy, but I don't have any big projects that I'm working on.

I had the opportunity to do a fireside for my ward last Sunday. I really enjoyed it. I've always wanted to share some of my more personal songs and talk about why I wrote them. I was amazed how things worked out so I could have that experience. It's interesting to me how the more I focus on being a mom, the more opportunities I've been given musically. I think I'm actually starting to get it now. It's really the best situation I could hope for. I spend all my time being a mom, doing what I love, and God works out all the details for my music career (if that's what you'd call it). He really is the best agent I could ever have! =)

In the last few months I've had a little more time to study my scriptures, and learn new things. It's something I can do when my baby is awake at night, and I'm just waiting for him to go to sleep. I've been able to understand some things that I didn't understand before.

My baby is already almost 8 months old. He's kind of funny because he hates to be on his stomach. He always has. By about this time though, most babies have learned to roll over, scoot, sit up, crawl, and perhaps have even started walking while holding onto things. My baby is content to lay on his back. Recently though, he has wanted to sit up. He like to sit, but he has no idea how to get himself in that position. Lately I've been trying to teach him how to roll onto his stomach, so he can push himself up into a sitting position. He just won't do it. As soon as he can tell he's on his tummy he gets mad.

Yesterday I was thinking about that and about all the things that he would be unintentionally missing out on if he didn't ever learn. It made me think about my spiritual journey through life. When I was younger I really didn't care about spiritual things. I was content with what I knew.

It really didn't seem like a bad thing. Isn't it good to be happy with the cards we're dealt? But by just being content with what I knew, I was missing out on amazing discoveries. Things that have brought me so much more insights, knowledge, and ultimate peace and happiness. What's funny is I feel like the more I learn, the more I realize there is to know. I've just barely learned to roll over, and someday, I might learn how to sit up, crawl, walk, and maybe even run. It's easy to be content with what we know, but it's exhillerating to learn to roll. And someday I want to learn how to run!

My Summer Vacation

2009-08-17T16:36:00.002-06:00

Summer is always a busy time of the year for me. With each additional child I have, it seems it gets a little more crazy each year!

This summer, I enjoyed my kids. I enjoyed being a mom. I took my kids to the library, to the park. We saw movies, I managed to enjoy a parents and tots swimming class while I took all the kids to swimming lessons (it was a miracle to get 7 kids all in the same swimming session!) I even took my kids on a camping trip to Colorado- (just me and the kids!) I never had time to blog about any of it (until now), but needless to say, it was a good summer.

I've found that the best two summers I've ever had, were the summers I let go of all the things that took my focus away. It always seems like a big sacrifice at the time. It's hard to do it. But I think I'm finally getting it. Every time I make a big sacrifice, the rewards are amazing. I wouldn't have given up my summer with the kids for anything.

Today was their first day back to school. I don't have any plans right now (except a fireside, I'm nervously preparing for at the end of this month!) The Lord is good to me. I feel so incredibly blessed.

I had the chance this week to talk to a friend of mine, that I was friends with in Kindergarten. We grew up together and were friends all through Elementary School and Junior High, until I moved away. She told me that she didn't think she would ever have kids. I've thought about her a lot over the years, and felt bad for her, that she was missing out on such a great opportunity and experience of life. I got in contact with her again through facebook. She had pictures there of her 6 month old baby boy. It was so fun to talk with her. She has so much to look forward to.

I know not everyone gets the opportunity to be a parent, and for this privilege and blessing, I am feeling especially thankful tonight.

To write or not to write

2009-06-25T12:55:00.007-06:00

Is it possible to not be supposed to write a song?

For over three weeks, I've been trying to write a song that for some reason hasn't wanted to be written. It's interesting to me, because though I can't always guarantee how long it will take me, (a couple of hours to a couple of weeks!) I've usually been able to write a song with the Lord's help.

This time, however, I've been amazed at how I haven't been able to write a song. Every time I've tried to find a quiet time, baby wakes up hungry, child #1 needs something, followed by child #2, #3 (you get the idea...). It hasn't been for a lack of trying, but because of normal every day, "mom" stuff. It even happened after I would pray fervently for the Lord's help. I tried to give him many opportunities to help me, but it never seemed to work out. This isn't the way it usually goes, and I started to wonder if maybe I wasn't supposed to write the song.

Not wanting to misinterpret the spirit. I gave it one more shot. On Saturday morning, it was quiet, and I really thought that I wouldn't be interrupted. If the Lord wanted me to write this song, it seemed like a good time. I prayed that God would help me to use this time effectively and that I would have His spirit to guide me. I also prayed that if I was NOT supposed to write it, that I could just know, in some plain way that I could recognize, so I could know His will, and stop worrying about it.

It wasn't 5 minutes before my older son came down the stairs and said, "Mom, Josh just cracked his head open on the table and he's bleeding all over his head!"

Thankfully, Josh was okay. He had a small cut on the back of his head that was bleeding a lot. It didn't swell up, and he didn't need stitches, but I definitely felt like I'd gotten my answer.

Since that time, (a week ago) I have felt nothing but peace. I feel bad for those that were hoping I would write the song, and the girls that were excited to sing it. But for some reason, I wasn't supposed to write this one. Atleast that's how I'm feeling about it. Instead of the song I was going to write, the girls are going to sing "My Story" from "My Turn on Earth". It's absolutely perfect, and I've reflected on the words more than once as I've thought through the whole experience...

I'm the one that writes my own story,
I decide the person I'll be
What goes in the plot, and what will not
is pretty much up to me....

...This book of mine is very important,
and so someone is waiting right there
to help with my story, He's been there before me
and always as close as a prayer...

I could have written a song. I had a lot of random ideas that I could have put together, but I didn't feel good about any of them. Sometimes I think maybe even though we try to do what the Lord wants us to do, even though the task seems like the right thing, God knows what is needed better than we do. It's not that we're not getting the inspiration, but maybe it's better left undone?

Anyway, thought I'd share. Hopefully another song will come soon, but for now, this question was not to write!

Oquirrh Mountain Temple Celebration

2009-06-03T08:31:00.003-06:00

Saturday I had the amazing opportunity to go to the Conference Center and watch the amazing Oquirrh Mountain Temple Celebration. It was an amazing thing. About 7,000 youth participated in song and dance, including my oldest 2 children. They've been practicing for about 2-3 months for this. The costumes were amazing, and the hours and time spent preparing were unimaginable. The performance was great. What was also amazing, was the conference center was FILLED with people. It seats over 21,000 people, and I think it was mostly just filled with the parents and leaders of the youth performing! We were allowed two tickets, but my husband stayed behind to bring all of our children to a nearby church building, to watch the performance through a broadcast there. Both of our parents came there to watch it with them. It was too bad we couldn't all be together, but I was so grateful to see the performance first hand.

The whole performance was considered a culteral celebration, and most of the songs celebrated different time periods of Utah's history, including a celebration of the Armed Forces, and of various countries as well. I was surprised that the temple celebration was mostly of this character, and not so much about the temple or very religious in nature at all. My daughter, Jessica, had invited a non-member friend of hers to watch the performance in the Conference Center, and so I was privileged to sit with her and her mother. It was interesting to watch their reactions. They were very impressed, as I was, at the sheer number of youth, the beautiful costumes, and so many amazing songs and dances performed that must have taken hours and hours to put together. What was most impressive to my non-member friends though, was the simple song arrangement near the end, of our long time favorites, "I Love to See the Temple" and "Families can be together forever". The lyrics were on the screen so that the audience could sing along. These are songs we've been singing since we were kids, and love, but were amazingly powerful. I sat next to another daughter and mother in our ward that lost their dad, a previous bishop and Stake President. We were all weeping at the spirit that confirmed what we know about the temple, and how families can be together forever. My non-member friends on my other side, leaned over to me, and said, "That was beautiful". It truly was beautiful.

This last week or so, I was asked to write another camp song. I've been surprised how I have not been able to find time to write it. My kids have been off-track, and every time I think I have a moment, I've had constant interruptions. I had started wondering if maybe the Lord didn't want me to write this song. After listening to those sweet simple primary songs though, I think I just need to write something more simple and basic. It's nice to be able to write something more complicated and intricate, but it's more amazing to write something simple, and see what happens when the spirit can do His work. I'm just grateful to be one of His instruments here on the earth.

Story of Faith

2009-05-11T20:21:00.002-06:00

This last month I had the opportunity to write a song to sing for Relief Society. The topic was on temples, and about the sacrifices that the early Saints made so that they could have one. Here in South Jordan, we are lucky enough to have 2 temples! The Oquirrh Mountain temple is barely being finished and tickets are barely being reserved (it's free) to go and walk through the undedicated temple. Because we live so close, we get to help be the hosts, and help with the celebration and the walk throughs. There is plenty to be done, and it's exciting to have the privilege to help.

Anyway, the Relief Society president gave the lesson, and based it on Jeffery R. Holland's talk, As Doves to our Windows. So I also had this article as a resource. It was a difficult song to write, but I came up with something that I did like. About a week before I was supposed to sing it, I sang it for an LDS Musicians get together that we had, and then again for my mother, 2 great places to get feedback and critique. Both places gave me some great suggestions, which I did use, both of them telling me it needed a 3rd verse. I don't usually write 3 verses. 2 is usually hard enough! But the stories that I used from Elder Holland's talk were both about men and the sacrifices that they made for the temple. The song needed a verse about the women. This was a hard verse to write, but I was so glad that it finally came together, the day before I performed it.

Of course, as I sang the song, I did fine for the first 2 verses, and then as I began the 3rd verse, my emotions became so strong, that I cried. It's something I've done since I used to perform in my home ward. Thankfully, I got past it, and was able to sing the final bridge and chorus without quite so many sniffles. There were tears all around, and I was grateful to have the experience. It helped me to appreciate the blessings of having temples so close to us.

I encourage you to look over the words to the song. You can find the song at: http://www.kerbymusic.org/music.php?sid=97. I am hoping to do another demo of it, and then I'll send out an update soon.

I had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday. I have the best family and husband in the world when it comes to Mother's Day. My husband makes all my meals, and my kids all make cards and gifts for me all day long. It's so fun. My daughter even gave me an hour long hair massage! What can top that?! I also enjoyed calling my mother and talking to her. She is such a wonderful inspiration to me. I realized that I didn't gain all the experience I have as a mother because I'm the oldest of 11 children, I learned it because my mother taught me how to deal with all my siblings. I gained that wonderful experience as she showed me what to do, how to do, and most of all, how to love, and I love her so much!

Crying over Veggie Tales

2009-04-07T20:32:00.003-06:00

Well thankfully, my husband has been employed! We celebrated by going to a dollar movie, and fast food. It's been 6 months since we did that. It hasn't been a horrible experience (atleast for me), and we've definitely learned to budget our money a little better. Hopefully some of those habits will stick. It definitely feels better to know there will be a paycheck coming sometime this month. (Yay!)

Life has been up and down with the new baby. He is so cute, which helps. He actually has been pretty colicky the last month. I haven't gotten very much of anything done. I'm a person that likes to do a lot with my time, so it's pretty hard to look at my "todo" list and not cross off anything.

I've read a couple books though, which I don't normally do, but since that's something I can more easily pick up and put down... I read the biography of Phil Vischer. It's called "Me, Myself, and Bob". It was very inspiring. Phil Vischer is the creator of "VeggieTales". He had a very religeous background, and his dream was to create a media that families could trust. He writes in his book about all his successes. He almost became another Walt Disney (one of my heroes!) before the crushing end, and he lost everything. He lost his company, went bankrupt, and had to start completely over from scratch. His book is not depressing though. He writes about what he learned from the experience. I was crying at the end of the book as he wrote about how he had to let go of "his" dream. All along he felt like God had given him this "calling", but he was trying to do it all "Phil's" way. Now he is letting God lead him wherever he should go. He's the instrument, and God is the one playing. I love that analogy. He's starting over, and I believe he is a lot more inspirational now than he ever was with "Veggie Tales". (I never cried through a veggie tales movie!)

After listening to General Conference (which was wonderful), and reading that book, I've been thinking a lot about what my "calling" might be. Obviously, I'm supposed to be a mother, but I'm hoping to be able to share my music as well. There's a lot I'd like to do. If I didn't have children and a family, I would probably be pretty busy right now.... but I wouldn't be as happy.

Someday I'll have more time to put into it. I actually get quite a bit done in the moments here and there between diaper changes, and my bedtime. The Lord has blessed me to do that, and it makes me happy. When I get comments from my website, it just brightens my day, so that when I don't have anything to cross off on my list of "todos", atleast I touched someone with my music.

So, I guess this is just a reminder to myself, to slow down, and enjoy the moment.

Unemployment and Blessings

2009-03-20T22:11:00.004-06:00

My husband was laid off from his job way back in November of 2008. He wasn't very upset about it at the beginning, since he had worked at his job for a really long time (15 years) and was looking for a change, but with the economy and the stress of supporting the family, it's been getting more stressful for him. I think he would call the last five months some of the hardest he's ever been through.

We haven't had it as bad as many people do. In fact, we've actually been blessed quite a bit. For one thing, he got a really nice severance pay since he'd been working for the company for so long, that has really helped me not to be stressed out about it.

The second thing, is that we've had so many things go right. If I compared the last 5 months to the 5 months before that, as far as spending emergencies go, (car repairs, home maintenance repairs, general necessities and emergency needs) they have all been amazingly minimal. In fact, a few months ago, our dishwasher stopped working and my husband tried to fix it. Usually when my husband tries to fix something, it usually ends up being a huge frustration, and we end up paying even more money to fix the problem. I was a little wary when he wanted to try to fix the dishwasher (I've hated this dishwasher, and would really just like to get a new one instead), but this time, my husband called the company, figured out what part was wrong, ordered the part ($10) and was actually able to install it himself! It was truly a miracle.

I like to notice miracles in my life, and this week was no exception. My baby was going to be blessed soon in church, and I didn't have a blessing outfit for him. I checked "Kid to Kid", and some thrift stores, but I couldn't find one, and I didn't want to spend the money to buy a new one. I decided that I could just make him one instead. I actually use to make kid clothes, when I only had one child, so I actually found a newborn pattern I could use for it. I wasn't sure if I had any white material I could use, but looking through my fabric scraps, I found a small piece of plain white cotton material, just barely enough to fit the pattern!

I did have to go buy some white thread because I didn't have any, and I looked for some snap tape for the legs, but Walmart didn't have any. I started making the outfit, and then today I was almost done with the outfit, and still needed the snap tape. I thought I might be able to reuse some snap tape from one of Tyler's other outfits, but I guess most commercial outfits don't use snap tape, just individual snaps, so I wasn't able to find any.

I decided I'd look one more place, and checked all my old sewing bins and craft buckets. In the very last bin that I looked in, I found a scrap cut off piece of snap tape EXACTLY the right size that I needed. Another miracle! I was so happy. I sewed in the snap tape, and the outfit is perfect. I'm so glad I made it. The cost to make it was $2 (for the thread). Of course now the outfit is actually priceless, as it can be an heirloom, and is much more special to me than any outfit I could have bought or borrowed from someone.

Tyler's been pretty fussy lately. I think he has a bit of colick, but thankfully everything else is going well. Occasionally I'm getting a good night's sleep (a 4 hour stretch!) I've actually written 2 more songs in the last couple of weeks. I'll post one of them very soon.

Hope all is well with all of you, Blog again soon,

Lindy

Brother Nawroz

2009-03-01T21:12:00.006-07:00

Last Sunday I received an email from someone I came in contact with through my website many years ago. The subject header said, "wish come true". I was overjoyed to get this email. It had the wonderful news that my friend, Nawroz, had become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It has been quite a journey for him, and I'm so grateful that I got to play a part in it. For those that are interested, I have Nawroz' permission and I would love to share the story with you. It's a little long, so read it when you have a chance to relax! =)

I came in contact with Nawroz about 7 years ago. I had just barely started my website, and only had a few piano songs available to download. I received my first email from Nawroz just a couple of months after 9-11 (2001). I don't remember much about the email, I think he wrote to tell me that he liked my music, but I did remember that he was from Iraq. I was a little concerned that maybe he was a terrorist, so I was cautious in my response, but he hadn't asked for money, and he seemed very kind. I didn't expect to hear from him again, but maybe a year later, he wrote another email. This time he wrote to tell me that he had arranged many of my songs for orchestra, and that they were to be performed there in Iraq. He sent me many midi files of the arranged music. I was amazed and surprised as well as very impressed with his talents. This was one of the first times I wished I could have been there, I would very much have liked to attend the concert of my music being played by a live orchestra, in Iraq!

Throughout the next few years, I heard off and on from Nawroz. I've always liked getting emails from Nawroz. It is really a neat thing to have contact with someone that lives on the other side of the world. It was also interesting to hear from someone on the other side of the war in Iraq. Nawroz wanted to compose. He wanted to have an education. Many of the freedoms that I take for granted everyday, he yearned for. When the elections began, there were times Nawroz told me that he feared for his life. He didn't tell me many of the details, but I could tell that things were rough for him, and I was grateful that my music helped him to feel some peace in the world.

I didn't hear from Nawroz for a couple of years before I received an email from him a few months ago (in November). Nawroz again, wrote in his broken English of some of his hardships. One line from his email began,

"It is Christmas for everyone but for me it is loneliness and sorrow your music is my only way to prevent me from falling...."

He also wrote, that he definitely had no doubt that I was S T R O N G (put in capitals WITH the spaces). He had attached a couple more arrangements of my music that he'd arranged, and told me that they were arrangements from a great composer.

My heart immediately went out to him. I felt such sadness that things were so hard for him. I also worried that he thought too highly of me and my music. I appreciated his adoration and arrangements that he had done, but it was too much. I wrote back to Nawroz telling him of my faith in God. I told him that this was where my strength came from and that the only way I have been able to find balance is with God helping me every step of the way. I told him I'd pray for him and that I hoped things would get better. I told him that he could also find joy, through Christ, that He was the way.

After this email, Nawroz opened up to me. He told me much more about his situation and story. Nawroz taught piano in Iraq. Because of the Islamic tradition, women are required to wear a scarf to cover their heads. Nawroz asked them to remove the scarf from just their ears, so that they could hear the music while they played. Because of this, Nawroz and his wife (who was also involved in some of the women's right's groups there) became a target from some extremist religious groups. His mother was attacked and hurt because of him, there home, computers and everything were destroyed, and they were forced to flee to Turkey and then to Sweden to avoid being killed. At that time, Nawroz was afraid that they would deport him back to Iraq. He was sure that if he had to return there, he would be killed within hours of his return. Truly I could see how desperate his situation was, but what made my heart ache even more for him, was what he closed his email with (in his words),

"my dream when I was a child was to change my religion to Christianity. I believe that Jesus is the only and the best prophet in mankind history and I believe in him strongly that why I care so much about your music ms.kerby that was my story do you know what I can do now ???"

I have never before quite appreciated the gospel as much as I did at that moment. It must be so difficult not to even be ABLE to learn about Christ. I wrote back,

"Nawroz,

I feel so sorry for your situation. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I forget how blessed we are to have the freedoms that we enjoy here. I hope someday that you can come to the United States (if that is your desire), and have those same freedoms.

You wrote about having a dream to become a Christian. I know that is possible. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If you wanted me to, I could arrange to have missionaries come and visit with you and your wife there in Sweden. They would be able to share with you much of the knowledge that I enjoy as a member of this church. I know this church to be true, and believe it with all my heart. Jesus Christ is the head of this church and I know that the missionary's message would bring you much peace, comfort and joy, even in your desperate situation.

Nawroz, thank you for your trust, your friendship and your music. I will pray for you that you will find happiness, and the peace for which you are seeking.

Sincerely,
Lindy Kerby"

Nawroz was thrilled to think that maybe his dream could come true, but at the same time, the Swedish government was asking Nawroz to leave within the next month and a half. Nawroz was desperate to find some way to leave Sweden without getting deported. The end of his email brought me to tears as he wrote (again in his words),

"any way they great news for me is just when I hear or I read greatest word (Jesus) that is my only hope (through you) please do that as soon as possible and if there is something like visa or anything make possible from prevent me going back to Iraq please please do it now because I don’t have time …………..I don’t know how to thank you my wife crying now when I read your letter ….god bless you don’t know how much hope you give us …… Nawroz"

At that point, I felt like I needed to find some way to get him to an Embassy or something, but after calling around for options, it didn't seem that we could help very much from here. I did call the missionaries (a couple times) and put in several referrals to the missionaries so that they could come visit with Nawroz. He was overjoyed, and waited by the phone for the next few days for the missionaries to call. They didn't call for a whole week, and by then Nawroz was very disappointed. I tried to locate a meetinghouse in Sweden that Nawroz could maybe go to. The closest building was 5 hours away, in a different country, or 9 hours away was the next closest building! I again could not believe how much I take for granted living in the United States, with the freedoms that we have, and the fact that right now I live in Utah, where my church building is within walking distance of my house! After I gave Nawroz the phone numbers that I found, and addresses of these distant buildings, I received one more email from Nawroz. He wrote,

"I have called those numbers but they didn’t answers ... I told you before that for me this is at little difficult but if you contact them it will be easier. Here ... there is thousand of churches, why I should go so [far away]? And time run away"

It was an interesting question. He was looking to become a Christian, why should he go to some distant church, when there were thousands of churches there? I started to think that ANY christian church would be better than none, but I really wanted him to hear the missionaaries and gain the same testimony that I have.

That Sunday, I bore my testimony and asked the members of our ward to fast for Nawroz. I prayed that the missionaries would come and be able to contact him. That evening, I received one more email from Nawroz. It said,

"Tonight they called me and I will meet him at the city library on Thursday at 3-30 so wish me luck "

Over the next few weeks, Nawroz told me about getting the Book of Mormon. He told me about the first time he went to church. He played the piano and they were very impressed. At first they thought it was a CD playing, but it was him! They asked him to play a musical number for their next Sunday meeting. A nice family there took Nawroz and his family under their wing, and Nawroz called them his "angels". He told me that this family was helping him with the government, and that things were going to work out. Nothing made me happier though when he wrote,

"... I knew that the church and the Mormon book are true and Joseph Smith is the true prophet of god..."

Nawroz was baptized on February 28th. He told me that my music was playing while they changed clothes. That made me feel so happy. I couldn't be there to watch that wonderful moment, but atleast I was there in spirit.

His last email told me I could call him Brother Nawroz, and that he would call me Sister Kerby. This was just a really neat experience for me, and I wanted to share. I hope it inspires someone to bear their testimony and share this great gospel with someone that doesn't know about it yet. And if you're reading this, wondering how to find out more, please send me an email, or visit www.mormons.org

6 week check

2009-02-26T13:46:00.002-07:00

Today was my post 6 week check up. It shouldn't have been a big deal, so I left the baby with my 2 oldest that were staying home sick today. My husband was also home in case they needed help with anything. It ended up that my doctor had an appointment that morning that lasted a whole hour! It was someone's very first appointment for a pregnancy, and she had brought in a list of 40 (or more) questions that she had written out for the doctor. Questions like, "How do you feel about forceps?", etc. I just can't believe my doctor gave her the entire hour to answer her questions. She's a nice doctor.

Unfortunately, I was waiting in the waiting room for almost the whole hour. About 45 minutes into my wait, my kids called me, telling me that the baby was crying and they didn't know what to do. My husband had to leave in a few minutes for an assignment, and she didn't know if she could handle him until I returned. It's lucky that I live nearby the doctor, and I had my husband drop off the baby on his way. It worked out, except that he cried while the doctor was checking me, and my husband forgot to bring a diaper bag, socks, a jacket, or anything else for the baby. I found it all very funny. Thankfully, I was taken back into the office just after we did the hand off, and was done within 5 minutes. Isn't that how it is?!

Bundle of Joy

2009-02-17T21:36:00.003-07:00

We're all finally feeling back to healthy! Feels great. Tyler is well, and starting to be awake more. It's harder to find time for all the fun things I like to do in my life, but I love spending time with my baby and watching him grow. People have told me how different he looks already. It's hard for me to notice, when I see him so much everyday, but yesterday I could tell he was focusing on my face. A new skill for him. His little eyes are so cute! I just love him...

Last week, my mother in law offered to watch Tyler and Joshua for a couple of hours so I could run errands or do whatever I wanted to do. I have to say, it is wonderful having family close by! I decided to stay at her house and record my song on her gorgeous Schimmel grand piano. I also recorded some video while I played the song which I'm using to make a little "youTube" video. I've spent the last few days figuring out how to splice and transition between pictures of Tyler, and the video of my playing the piano. I think it's turning out pretty well. It's not anything spectacular, but it's almost done, and I'm excited to share the song and pictures with everyone. Hopefully I'll get it done in the next couple of days, but then again everything takes a little longer than it used to...