I went to visit the Neurologist for my seizures today. I’m back on medication again. It looks like for a long time. Hopefully I won’t have any more. It seems wrong to be prescribed a medication that is given to help people with mental and bi-polar disorder when I’ve never had that before, but my doctor assures me that it shouldn’t be a problem. Let me tell you why I’m still just a little worried.
I remember learning in high school about how stimulants weren’t good for the body and how damaging they could be when taken as drugs on the street, etc. Of course when several of my children were diagnosed with ADHD, I had to be reconditioned to learn and understand that these same medications when given for ADHD, have an opposite and very helpful adverse effect – it actually slows their minds down and helps them think and focus!
Well, take someone like me who normally doesn’t have a mental illness and give them a bi-polar medication (they are the same kind you take for anti-seizure medications) and all of the sudden I’m experiencing bi-polar symptoms! When I was first put on a high dose of keppra, I had mind racing, euphoria, major mood swings, irritability, mania, inability to focus and it wasn’t really helping with the seizures as I was experiencing a ton of partial seizures as well. I actually had a doctor want to prescribe me an ADHD medication to help me with the side effect I was having in inability to focus! (I wonder what would have happened then?!)
For the last 5 months, I’ve been off of all medications. It’s been great. I’ve started gaining weight back (I was down to 90 lbs), my side effects all went away, and I’d been able to sleep great at night again. Not anymore. This last week, since I’ve had to start up again, it’s already affecting my sleep and I’m feeling a little extra emotional and not able to focus. It just doesn’t seem worth it. Though driving is such a big deal – and such a pain to live without.
I want to especially thank Robin today for taking me all the way to Salt Lake for my appointment today- she’s such an awesome friend and visiting teacher. I have great visiting teachers right now. I couldn’t ask for any better. Also – those guys fixed my pipe in the front yard! How cool is that! God is definitely taking care of things. I’ve just got to remember to count my blessings.