Moving Forward

Moving Forward

It’s always a little scary to do something new, but when it’s something you’ve been dreaming about and wanting for most of your life…  I think it’s okay to be a little scared – as long as you still do what you’ve been dreaming about all along.

It’s been amazing to me all the things that have happened that are making this dream possible. Some of the things I’ve experienced have not exactly been positive – like getting divorced, having my kids be away from me every other week, having to leave the fruits of my home, having my parents gone on a mission while all of this was happening, having seizures, and not being able to drive, dealing with the court system and worrying about money, trying to find and keep jobs, when all I really want was to be able to stay home with my children. There’s been so many hard challenges and things that that have happened that you would wonder how anything good could ever come out of it.

At the same time, I’ve had so many blessings and help from people than I ever could have possibly imagined. God has been working through others to help take care of me, send me love and offer assistance in so many ways that I have needed. Neighbors have kindly given me a home in their basement to live in. They have become my parents, while mine have been away and I will forever be indebted to them! Church members have cared for me and offered me rides and assistance when I was having my seizures and couldn’t take care of myself. So much love was offered when I couldn’t drive and needed so much help from others. My parents were able to Skype with me and help me emotionally as I needed them. My son has been well and happy on his mission. I’m building back trust with my children after a divorce, and things are starting to get a little better. I was given scholarships that allowed me to meet amazing people and receive mentoring that has helped me rediscover who I am. God has been taking care of me financially through jobs and others that he has brought me into contact with. I am making friends with other singles and know there is still hope of future happiness. The greatest blessing is that God is whispering that it’s okay to start sharing my music. It’s finally becoming that “season”.

I remember feeling the call to share my music earlier, but the whispering I kept getting from the spirit was that it wasn’t time yet. I needed to keep my focus on my children. It was frustrating then, I thought I could do both. How grateful I am that I listened and waited. With everything I experienced in the court system, it’s very possible that I might have lost custody of my children had I ignored the prompting. No one can dispute the fact that I was a vigilant, loving mother. My children have always been my priority, and they will continue to be.

I shared my “Beauty Queen” song on a live video on my Facebook page. People liked it and it gave me some courage that it would be okay to start sharing. I feel God’s hand directing my path. He’s got some plan for me, though I’m not exactly sure what it is yet. I was talking with some of my singer/songwriter friends that I used to perform with when my children were very young. We are all in the same type of place, feeling the call to share our music.

We’ve decided to start an inspirational music podcast. We’re going to do it on Facebook live. I’m so excited about it. I’ve always loved performing and sharing the stories behind my songs. It’s even more fun to do it with friends. I think people will like it.

I’d love to invite you to watch it on Facebook. Our first event is Sunday, February 5th. You can watch it from the comfort of your own home. Here’s the link for where to find it:

Thanks for being with me on this journey. I so appreciate all your support. Enjoy the music,


A New Job Blessing

A New Job Blessing

I don’t know if I mentioned on my blog that I quit my job working as a special needs T.A. I loved that job, and it was a hard decision to make.  At the time, I felt good about it and thought it was the right thing to do. There were a multitude of reasons why I decided to do it – I had just had a seizure, I wouldn’t be able to drive to work, the kids were going to be on a different schedule then me, and I was worried because my brain was forgetting things, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to remember the 7th-9th grade concepts that I would need to teach the kids when school started again.

Over the last couple of weeks, and not having any kind of income besides child support and alimony, I was really getting scared, and second guessing myself on whether I had made the right decision. Why had I felt like I was supposed to quit? Was that just a really dumb thing for me to do? I didn’t have any kind of back up plan.

I started looking at other work options, but nothing was feeling good and I was really starting to feel stressed.

On Sunday, a sister at my church mentioned that there were some available job openings at the school where my children attended. The school is within walking distance of my house. The open position was also working on the same track as my kids. I applied and got the job. It’s basically the same exact position that I had before (that I loved), working with special needs kids, but it’s working at the same times my kids are at school. I’ll be able to walk there, and at an elementary level that my brain should be able to handle easier. I’m also excited for new opportunities there and even a slightly higher increase in my pay.

Basically, it’s a better job for me in every possible way.

God knew what I needed. I was definitely supposed to quit my other job so that I could get this one. I’ve been praying so hard that God would help me, why shouldn’t I trust Him that He had something all planned out like this?

Next time, I have the inspiration to do something and things get a little scary…. Hopefully, I’ll keep trusting. There’s some other areas in my life like that that I’m having to remember this for. Maybe, like for this job, it’s a matter of timing. If things like this can be so much better than I would have imagined, it seems like the best thing I could do is just keep trusting Him. Maybe things will be better than I can imagine.