The Problem with Perfection

The Problem with Perfection

If you don't believe it's possible you'll never really try, but with belief and effort someday soon you'll start to fly

Have you ever had the experience of trying to help someone who had given up trying, deciding they couldn’t do something, or that it was impossible for them? Maybe that someone is you…

This last week, I struggled as I tried to help a child learn how to write his letters of the alphabet. He was trying to make each letter look the way he knew letters were supposed to be written – like they are typed. I tried to convince him that he wasn’t a computer and it was okay to make mistakes, but with each passing attempt, he would throw his head back and tell me how dumb he was. He just couldn’t do it. It was seriously painful to watch.

It continued as he began to color. He would get slightly out of the lines and crumple up the whole page, telling me he was a terrible colorer. It didn’t matter what I said to encourage him, he had decided there was no hope for him and he was done trying.

It made me remember when I was first starting to write music. It was so hard at first.

I wanted to be able to write music that sounded like the professionals and I wanted to make it sound like that from the very beginning – before I even knew what I was doing!

I finally gave up trying to write songs with words because it was so hard, and decided to just stick with piano music. It was easier for me, and I started writing bunches of piano songs. It was getting easier to do the music, but I still had the desire to write songs with words.

When I started my sheet music website (www.kerbymusic.org), I wanted even more to be able to write vocal songs. I tried again, but again it was so hard. I decided I needed to get other lyricists to help me and wrote several songs with other people’s words.

I was finally writing vocal songs, but it still wasn’t the same as writing my own songs. I tried again, but it was still hard. Everything I wrote seemed so dumb and I wondered if writing lyrics would ever be something I could be good at.

One thing I learned was that I couldn’t just write a song for the sake of writing one. I needed a reason to write, something I could get specific about. I tried to think of reasons I could write, but nothing was coming. I was again ready to just give up and not ever try again. That day I told Heavenly Father that if He really wanted me to write songs, He was going to have to help me. He was going to have to give me some reason to write, and until that happened, I wasn’t going to worry about it anymore.

The next day was the Sabbath and the Relief Society President caught me in the hall. She asked me if I would be willing to do a musical number for Relief Society. She told me the very specific purpose and scriptures that she wanted the song to be about but that she hadn’t found anything that quite fit the purposes of her lesson. She asked me if I had any ideas. I knew it was Heavenly Father was answering my prayer. I told her I could probably come up with something. I didn’t mention that I would try to write a song, wondering if I’d even be able to.

That week I wrote the song and it was so much easier than any of my previous attempts. I knew Heavenly Father was helping me. It wasn’t a great song, but it was a song with words. I sang it in Relief Society and afterwards one person came up and told me thank you. I think she was only trying to be polite, but her comment meant so much to me. I didn’t tell her or anyone else that I had written the song. It took me awhile before I was willing to be that vulnerable, but the blessings have been immeasurable.

I’ve been grateful for the gifts and talents God has blessed me with. I know God gives us talents and abilities, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have to work to get good at them. I’m still learning and trying to get to that place that I have in my mind. I’m not there yet, but I know I can’t get there unless I keep trying.

 

If you know someone who is struggling with self doubt or even if it’s you, tell them not to give up! Keep trying and believing and someday soon they’ll learn to fly.

 

Divorced, a new chapter.

Divorced, a new chapter.

I haven’t written very much about my messy divorce, but as of a few days ago, the paperwork was finally finished, decisions were made, and I was finally able to move into a place where I could begin again. Custody of our children was determined to be 50/50. I wish I could be with my kids all the time, but when they aren’t with me, I’m getting the chance to figure out who I am and who I want to be. It’s been good for me and something I didn’t have a lot of time to worry or think much about before.

moving saleMoving has been a hard challenge. My parents have been away on a mission to Argentina, and I haven’t had a lot of family available to help. We moved from a large 7 bedroom house to a much smaller 3 bedroom basement and I couldn’t drive at all to get from one place to the other.  I haven’t had any more seizures, but I still can’t drive for a couple more weeks. I’ve been so grateful for good visiting teachers, Relief Society Presidents and tons of priesthood support and friends that have helped me get through. The help I’ve received has truly been amazing. The Lord has blessed me and I’m grateful for the miracles He’s sent along the way.

I’ve been through a range of emotions. From hope, to depressed, to anger, to finally acceptance. I don’t think it’s been as bad as I’ve heard other people go through, but it’s still been hard none-the less. I’ve been grateful that most of the time, I’ve felt peace. The anger only lasted for a few days. It kind of caught me off guard, but I was told I needed to feel that to be able to move on. I feel like I’m finally accepting that I’m divorced and can move forward again. One of the things I’ve felt strongly about was that I needed to share my story. I’ve felt that the whole time, even from before I got separated. Now that I’m divorced, I finally have the time to do that.

This weekend I went on a camping trip with some single adults. It’s been a new experience for me, and it’s been different getting to know what it’s like to be single. One thing I’ve really been impressed with, is how much these single friends seem to know who they are and what they want to do with their life. The people I’ve talked to have definitely had their trials, but with the exception of getting married, they are accomplishing their dreams and becoming the person they want to be.

Half Empty BookI don’t even know who that is yet. I was married when I was only eighteen. I had children right away – seven of them. My only dreams for the future were to become a musical actress, but that didn’t fit well as I also wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I’ve never regretted that decision, but now that I have every other week to myself, I have the opportunity to re-examine and figure out what dreams I really want to pursue. It’s kind of exciting not knowing what’s ahead. There are so many possibilities.

I’ve decided that as awful as this divorce has been, it’s not the end, and it certainly does not have to define me. This is just a new chapter in a half finished book, where the best parts are yet to come. God is the best orchestrator, creator and author I’ve ever known. I can hardly wait to see what He has planned for me next. Stay tuned…

 

 

She Needs You More Than Me

Since God is the only person that really knows us, and what we need, as therapists, parents, and religious leaders, we have to rely on God for our inspiration. “She Needs You More than Me” is an inspirational song written for the Salt Lake City 2013 LDS AMCAP convention. It was written for those trying to bless someone who is struggling, and knowing that God is the one who heals, as we try to be His instrument.

Lyrics:
She enters in slowly, a little bit shy
I can tell there’s so much pain and sadness inside
But I have a hope that an answer maybe we’ll find

She tells me her story
As tears softly flow
From the words that she’s telling me
doesn’t feel hope
And I pray for wisdom that Fatther, only you know

Cause Father, you are the one who heals and saves us
And Father, you are the love we need
May I be Thy tool
As I hope to inspire
Comfort and guide her
Lead her from me to you
For like water that leads to the sea
I know she needs you more than me

We think of some things that this week she could try
In addressing this darkness and sadness inside
And hopefully something I’ve said
Will help with her life
But when I get home and can fall on my knees
Then I’ll pray for wisdom that only you see
And offer my imperfect hand to help her feel Thy peace

Cause Father, you are the one who heals and saves us
And Father, you are the love we need
May I be Thy tool, as I hope to inspire,
comfort and guide her
Lead her from me to you
For like water that leads to the sea
I know she needs you more-

So I’ll go right on listening for promptings and whisperings
So you can tell me what to say
And I’ll always rely on that fact you’re nearby
As our father in every way

Cause Father, you are the one who heals and saves us
And Father, you are the love we need
May I be Thy tool
As I hope to inspire, comfort and guide her
Lead her from you to me
For like water that leads to the sea
I know she needs you-
I know she needs you!
I know she needs you
more than me.

Copyright © 2013 by Lindy Kerby

One in God’s Love – Inspirational Music Video

Several months ago, I received an email from a man named Steven. He told me his girlfriend, Cynthia, loved my music, and wondered if I would compose a special piano piece for her, to use for his upcoming marriage proposal. I thought the idea was so sweet, and decided I would.

In writing a piano piece, I needed my own inspiration to write the song, I told him that the title needed to be something we could mutually agree on. When Steven came up with the working title of the song, I knew I would have the emotional connection I needed. It was about something that my heart yearned for – to be one in God’s love.

My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. It hasn’t been easy, but we are continually working to make ours better. Our goal is to become one. I know that with God’s love it’s possible. I’m also grateful for the words from the Family Proclamation to the World,

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities”

How many of those things are made easier with God’s Love? I’m so grateful for the love I feel from Him. This video expresses some of my thoughts and feelings about my marriage and how God’s love has made it better. I hope you enjoy.

Download Free Sheet Music

Please share with your friends!