Moving Forward

Moving Forward

It’s always a little scary to do something new, but when it’s something you’ve been dreaming about and wanting for most of your life…  I think it’s okay to be a little scared – as long as you still do what you’ve been dreaming about all along.

It’s been amazing to me all the things that have happened that are making this dream possible. Some of the things I’ve experienced have not exactly been positive – like getting divorced, having my kids be away from me every other week, having to leave the fruits of my home, having my parents gone on a mission while all of this was happening, having seizures, and not being able to drive, dealing with the court system and worrying about money, trying to find and keep jobs, when all I really want was to be able to stay home with my children. There’s been so many hard challenges and things that that have happened that you would wonder how anything good could ever come out of it.

At the same time, I’ve had so many blessings and help from people than I ever could have possibly imagined. God has been working through others to help take care of me, send me love and offer assistance in so many ways that I have needed. Neighbors have kindly given me a home in their basement to live in. They have become my parents, while mine have been away and I will forever be indebted to them! Church members have cared for me and offered me rides and assistance when I was having my seizures and couldn’t take care of myself. So much love was offered when I couldn’t drive and needed so much help from others. My parents were able to Skype with me and help me emotionally as I needed them. My son has been well and happy on his mission. I’m building back trust with my children after a divorce, and things are starting to get a little better. I was given scholarships that allowed me to meet amazing people and receive mentoring that has helped me rediscover who I am. God has been taking care of me financially through jobs and others that he has brought me into contact with. I am making friends with other singles and know there is still hope of future happiness. The greatest blessing is that God is whispering that it’s okay to start sharing my music. It’s finally becoming that “season”.

I remember feeling the call to share my music earlier, but the whispering I kept getting from the spirit was that it wasn’t time yet. I needed to keep my focus on my children. It was frustrating then, I thought I could do both. How grateful I am that I listened and waited. With everything I experienced in the court system, it’s very possible that I might have lost custody of my children had I ignored the prompting. No one can dispute the fact that I was a vigilant, loving mother. My children have always been my priority, and they will continue to be.

I shared my “Beauty Queen” song on a live video on my Facebook page. People liked it and it gave me some courage that it would be okay to start sharing. I feel God’s hand directing my path. He’s got some plan for me, though I’m not exactly sure what it is yet. I was talking with some of my singer/songwriter friends that I used to perform with when my children were very young. We are all in the same type of place, feeling the call to share our music.

We’ve decided to start an inspirational music podcast. We’re going to do it on Facebook live. I’m so excited about it. I’ve always loved performing and sharing the stories behind my songs. It’s even more fun to do it with friends. I think people will like it.

I’d love to invite you to watch it on Facebook. Our first event is Sunday, February 5th. You can watch it from the comfort of your own home. Here’s the link for where to find it:

Thanks for being with me on this journey. I so appreciate all your support. Enjoy the music,


Choose your own Adventure

Choose your own Adventure

Do you remember those choose your own adventure novels where you got to pick what happened and still things surprised you?

I loved those books. My kids and I want to make some videos where you can pick what happens and they get to act out all the different possibilities for you to choose between. I think it will be fun. The kids went back to their dad’s house today for another week. I already miss them, and I’m glad that we have a project we can work on even while they are away. It’s hard to be away from them for so long. It seems wrong. It was never something I asked for or wanted.

I had to go to court for another hearing today. Our divorce is finalized but nothing else really is. I’m grateful I had a lawyer today. With my brain still recovering from the seizure I had a week ago, I’m still not thinking really well. For awhile, I didn’t have a lawyer and I was totally on my own going pro se. It was another adventurous chapter I had chosen. Some chapters I’m glad are over, some chapters, I still feel like I’m still wondering what’s going to happen.

Because of the seizure I can’t drive again for another 3 months at the very earliest, as long as I don’t have any more seizures. You can’t imagine how much you take your ability to drive for granted, and how often you do it. I was grateful for a willing and wonderful visiting teacher who was wiling to drive me to the court house today. Later tonight, I wanted to go to a mid-singles adult family home evening activity. I had just started attending the activities and I thought it would be fun to go. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a ride. I think people couldn’t figure out “why” I could possibly need a ride. Maybe they thought I was fishing for a date??

Oh-well, I don’t know that I’m ready to start dating again anyway. My ex-husband is already married again, and so is the only other guy that I was even slightly interested in. My ‘”Choose your own adventure story” feels like it’s just getting started. I have no idea where it’s going. I’d sure love to hear some ideas of where you think it might lead me.

Any guesses?





I have always wanted this blog to be an inspirational blog, and I still hope it will be, but for the time being, it is also going to have to be my brain for a while, helping me to keep track of things while I can’t remember what’s going on as well.

For some reason, I have been experiencing seizures. The first ones happened over a year ago, and now, I have just experienced another one this last Friday. It’s harder for me to remember what’s going on right now and I can’t drive for the next three months!

This isn’t the first time this has happened, but it’s the first time since I have been divorced. The last time I had seizures, I was still married, and I had my husband to help me with rides and transportation. This time I only have an ex-husband who is already re-married, and I have the kids with me every other week. I hate it. Things are not easy, but I am going to try and look at the positives.

I’m grateful that I live close to a neighborhood Walmart and the schools. I ran to the Walmart today to get some lids for apricot jelly that I was canning. It was nice that we live so close.

Apricots. That’s another thing I’m grateful for. This was the first year in like eight that our apricot tree actually produced and didn’t freeze off the fruit! We had tons of fruit this year. It’s been awesome.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, or how I’m going to survive whatever happens next, but I’m going to do my best to stay positive. Thanks everybody. Prayers welcome!